Success strategies - Lotte Vesterli

Keep a Success Journal

Lotte Vesterli on November 12, 2020

To help you make positive changes in your life, it is a good idea to keep a success journal. At least once a day, write down something you succeeded in doing. Maybe you took a walk during your lunch break, or read a chapter in a book you meant to get around to, or cleaned out a drawer in your cabinet.

Occasionally flip through your success journal and notice all the successes you are accumulating. I recommend a physical book – the act of moving a pen over the page reinforces the experiences in a way that tapping on a keyboard doesn’t.

Choose What you Listen to

Lotte Vesterli on November 11, 2020

Notice the positive things in the world. I know that almost every president-elect in the history of the United States has promised to be the president for all Americans, but that was still a good and inspiring speech.

Listening to uplifting messages raises your spirit and gives you the energy to make a positive difference for yourself and the people around you. Listening to negative media pulls you down. Be careful what you listen to.

Make a difference

Lotte Vesterli on November 9, 2020

Research shows that the more emotional resilience you have, the less likely it is that you will be bullied. You also bounce back from all kinds of negative experiences faster.

One way to build up resilience is by noticing the positive difference you make. You can volunteer your time or money to help others, but you can also add to your resilience by noticing how you are making a difference to your pets, your garden, or your potted plants. You are making the work a better place if you pick up garbage in your neighborhood. There are lots of ways to do good deeds.

At the end of each day, reflect on the difference you made that day. Building up a series of positive experiences is completely within your control.

Go Wandering

Lotte Vesterli on November 6, 2020

When you go out for a walk this weekend, wear a backpack with an extra sweater and a bottle of water. And put your phone in airplane mode and put it at the bottom of the backpack. Then go somewhere new – somewhere where you haven’t walked before (you might need to drive a short while to get to a new starting point). Walk aimlessly and just notice the things around you: The color of the leaves, birds in the sky, the sound of the wind.

If you’ve done your aimless wandering right, and are not equipped with an exceptional sense of place and direction, you’ll eventually be lost. At that time, you are allowed to dig your phone out of your backpack and let it help guide you back.

In addition to being a fun way to get exercise, this also helps reset your relation with your phone. It reminds you that you should not let your phone feed you stress and anxiety, but appreciate it as a useful helper that you command.

Accept Different Opinions

Lotte Vesterli on November 3, 2020

Today is election day in the United States, and I know many of my clients are worried. Remember that your task is not to save your country from the other side. Your task is to vote for who you believe will be best for your country.

The shouting before the election has many people saying that their opponents must be evil. Don’t believe that. A lot of people have a different opinion from yours, but going through life thinking your neighbors are evil will just make the election anxiety permanent. No matter what the outcome, accept the fact that some people don’t agree with you and that’s okay. That will help you heal after this divisive time.

Celebrate Your Wins

Lotte Vesterli on November 2, 2020

With all the negative news around, it is extra important that you celebrate your small wins. If you set out to rake the leaves on your lawn this weekend, and you did it, you have earned the right to a small celebration. If you decided to take a walk every day last week and you did it, you are allowed to celebrate.

It is an important weapon against overwhelm and anxiety to make plans for things that are within your control. When you have followed your plan, you have achieved something. The horrors of the world around you cannot take that achievement from you.

What are you planning to achieve this week?

Keeping Traditions

Lotte Vesterli on October 30, 2020

Trick-or-treating is being discouraged in Denmark where I live, and maybe because the world is already scary, there are few scary decorations. But we do still have the carved pumpkins and the annual competition for the largest pumpkin (over 2000 pounds this year). In these anxious times, traditions are a stabilizing factor. Hold on to your jack-o-lantern or your pumpkin pie.

Do Your Part

Lotte Vesterli on October 28, 2020

All over the world, “pandemic fatigue” is spreading. After eight months of restrictions, everybody is tired and many have started ignoring advice or even protesting restrictions.

You cannot solve that. Bullying victims and other anxiety sufferers tend to worry about a lot of things that are outside of their control, but you cannot stop this pandemic. What you can do is to behave sensibly and adhere to the official guidelines where you are. Don’t read articles and watch news stories about the places where it’s bad. Your media will always tell you the story from where it’s worst.

Think about the sensible precautions you are taking, and think about all the sensible people all over the world who are doing the same. We’re fighting this fight together.

Notice What You’re Good At

Lotte Vesterli on October 27, 2020

To improve your self-esteem, make a list of the things you’re good at. We tend to look at other people and envy them that they can play an instrument, cook, fix computers, or do other things that we can’t. But we’re not good at appreciating what we’re good at ourselves.

Everybody is good at something, and other people will mention it when they notice you demonstrating your skill at decorating, woodworking, or anything else. Unfortunately, unless we tune in, we don’t hear it. Start your day by saying to yourself: “Today I will notice all the praise I get.” That primes your brain to really listen to the compliments you get. You’ll find you get more than you think.