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How a Box Will Increase Your Energy

Looking at clutter uses energy. Brain scans show that the more objects you have within your field of view, the faster you get tired and lose focus. Even though the brain is capable of filtering out all the items that are not relevant to the task at hand, it does spend energy doing so.

To increase your focus, you need to see fewer objects. But you don’t need to throw anything away (unless you want to). You simply need to group items together. Take a number of items that have some relation to each other and put them in a box. Eight pens, a pile of paperclips, a tape dispenser and a pair of scissors become one object when they go into a box.

It is important you can satisfy yourself that the items belong together. Throwing random objects into a box doesn’t trick your brain. It will look at a box it knows contains unsorted junk and continue thinking of all the items in the box. And now you have added an extra item: The box.

Get out some boxes and remove some clutter from your field of vision. You will notice increased clarity and energy. You just might get around to tasks you have been putting off for weeks.

Prepare a Stress Response Anchor

Hitting someone is a bad response. At the Oscars ceremony, one of the hosts made a joke about an actor’s wife, and the actor stormed up on stage and slapped the host in front of 15 million TV viewers. No matter how bad or tasteless the joke, physically hitting out is the wrong way to react.

Instead, prepare a stress response in advance. One powerful technique is called “anchoring” where you connect a physical feeling to an emotional state. Sit in your favorite place, listen to your favorite music and think of all the good things that have happened in your life. As you really feel good, press your thumb against your middle finger. Say in your mind “I am anchoring this good feeling in my body.” Do this several times on different days.

When faced with a stressful situation in the future, you can call upon your anchor. Touch your thumb against your middle finger and you will feel the calm you have stored in advance. If you see Will Smith, feel free to pass this tip to him.

Keep a Journal

If I asked you, could you find out what you did last Thursday? People who are feeling stuck and unhappy with their lives often complain that each day looks like the previous one. That is not correct. Each day is different, but you just don’t notice.

Like your phone and your computer, our brains do not have unlimited memory. That is why your brain doesn’t store every detail of every day. Similar days get lumped together in your memory, which is why last Thursday might have ended up the bucket of “normal workday” without any details.

To overcome this feeling, keep a journal. Every day write down something good that happened, or something you learned. When you feel stuck, page through your journal and recollect all the things that did happen, and all the learning and growth you did experience.

I talk a lot more about journaling in my book “Life after Bullying.” Read more about my book here.

Try a Less Smart Phone

Have you considered a ‘dumbphone’? We all have smartphones in our pockets full of apps to entertain and distract us. 15 years ago, we had phones that could only make calls and send text messages. More and more people are returning to simpler phones. They find that it gives them more focus and more creativity, and they spend more time with friends.

I still have a smartphone. But I also have a very simple phone I take with me when I head to our summer cottage for my annual silent retreat, or simply to spend time focused on something. With my simple phone, I am not totally isolated. But everything that happens in the world and on social media must wait until I am back home. Try buying a second-hand simple phone and spend one day a week with just that. The change can be dramatic.

Stop Your Technology from Distracting You

To create something, you need focus. I do my journaling on paper because a sheet of paper will not suddenly interrupt you with an unimportant message. When I am in focus mode, I have notification off on my phone and my computer. When writing on the computer, I use the “focus” mode in Word that removes all the menus and covers everything on my screen but the document.

You need to take a moment to figure out how to bend your technology to your will. If you can’t figure out how to disable notifications and noise, have a friend or family member help you.

Make a donation

You can make a difference. When watching terrible situations like the war in Ukraine, we want to help. However, we are often overwhelmed by the options and end up doing something useless. Charities are drowning in used overcoats and donated toys that there is no way to get to Ukraine.

Unless you have personal contacts in a disaster area, donate money to an organization you already know, like your church or the International Red Cross. Money can be used for whatever is necessary, and the brave people on the ground know if the highest need is for food, medicine, shelter, or transportation.

Making a donation you know will be useful is the best way to fight your anxiety about the state of the world.

Winter is Over. Get Outside

Winter is over. At least according to the calendar, which claims March as the first month of Spring. If you have been staying in your cave like a sleeping bear, now is the time to get out.

Fresh air, daylight and exercise are crucial elements of your physical and mental well-being. You have to get outside. No matter how much you sweat in aerobics class or how fast you run on a treadmill, your body needs to see daylight and breath fresh air. Take out your calendar and add an appointment with yourself to take a walk outside tomorrow.

Can You Take a Compliment?

Can you take a compliment? Surprisingly, many people have a hard time accepting a compliment. They brush it off, saying “oh, that’s nothing.” That diminishes the compliment for both yourself and the giver. Instead, embrace and enjoy all the positive feedback you get.

I have found that many of my clients have a hard time accepting compliments. It can be a symptom of low self-esteem. However, becoming aware of compliments and accepting them is also a way to build yourself up. If you have my book Life after Bullying, review chapter 15 on feedback today. After all, it is World Compliment Day 😉

Are You Prepared?

This morning, the citizens of Ukraine woke up to the sound of a Russian invasion. After weeks of threats, some people were prepared and some were not. You might not live in a place where a Russian invasion is likely, but you might still be affected by natural and man-made disasters.

You have pushed the risk out of your conscious mind, but your unconscious mind is continually evaluating it.

The better prepared you are for the unexpected, the more your mind will be is at ease. The events of today are a reminder to find out how to prepare yourself. In Sweden, every household recently received a 20-page folder called “If crisis or war comes.” Find the official recommendation for emergency preparedness from your local authorities and prepare yourself a little better. It will calm your mind.

Single Tasking Day

Today 2/22 is “Single Tasking Day.” That’s a made-up holiday, but there is a serious purpose behind it. We pride ourselves our ability to multi-task, but we are not really good at it. Unless one of the tasks is completely automatic – like walking or breathing – we are not actually multi-tasking. We are just switching our attention between several tasks. And every time we switch, we lose a little (or a lot) of time before we are productive on the new task.

Celebrate Single Tasking Day by selecting one task from your long list of half-finished tasks, and work on that one until it is complete. Every incomplete task takes up space in your mind. Notice how you feel lighter and more in control of your life once you can cross that task completely off your list. #SingleTaskingDay