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You Never Know How Much Time You Have

Lotte Vesterli on February 15, 2022

You don’t know how long time you have. Last year, a woman in Canada awoke to a loud noise in the middle of the night. Jumping out of bed, she turned on the light and saw a hole in her ceiling right above the bed. And on the bed was a 3-pound meteorite that had punched right through her roof, missing her head by inches.

It is exceedingly rare for people to get killed by rocks from space. But disease and everyday accidents also strike without warning. There is no day that is “just another day.” Every day is a unique gift. Make sure you use it well.

How will you have improved your life or the world at the end of today?

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Lotte Vesterli on February 14, 2022

Today every flower shop is helping you remember to show your appreciation for your partner. But what about tomorrow? Think of a way to incorporate some closeness and appreciation into your daily routines. 

You Have to Touch

Lotte Vesterli on February 10, 2022

When you have lived with the same partner for a long time, it can feel like something is missing. One of the most important things you can do for your relationship is to make sure you physically touch several time each day. It does not have to be a bear hug or anything sexual. Any simple touch trigger oxytocin in the body, and that strengthens trust and connection between you. Find a way to touch the shoulder, arm, or hand of your partner every day and feel the difference. 

Break the Loop

Lotte Vesterli on February 3, 2022

Winter will last another six weeks, according to Punxsutawney Phil. Phil is a weather-predicting groundhog, and you might know him from his role in the 1990s comedy Groundhog Day. In the movie, Bill Murray’s character is stuck in a time loop, experiencing Groundhog Day (Feb 2nd) over and over.

Are you also experiencing what feels like the same day over and over? This is typical human condition, and it has become more acute during pandemic lockdowns. But you don’t have to accept it. In the movie, Bill Murray’s character eventually breaks out of the loop. You can, too.

The best way to break the loop is to learn something new. If you work on a new skill, a new language, or a hobby every day, each day builds on the skills and knowledge from the day before. Get a learning project going if you don’t have one already.

The Year of the Tiger

Lotte Vesterli on February 2, 2022

The Year of the Tiger just started. If you live somewhere with many people from China and Southeast Asia, you couldn’t miss the noise of the New Years’ celebrations yesterday.

Tigers symbolize courage and bravery. People born in a Tiger year are thought to be natural leaders who love to take on a challenge. The Year of the Tiger also symbolizes being more courageous and stepping outside your comfort zone. That is good advice, whether you believe in Chinese astrology or not.

Gong hei fat choy – wishing you great happiness and prosperity.

Use your phone less

Lotte Vesterli on January 27, 2022

How often do you pick up your phone? If you are average, it is 58 times in a day. That is the number of times the average user interacts with the phone, so it does not include just checking the time. If you have an iPhone, activate the Screen Time feature under Settings to get your number. On Android, look under Settings, Digital Wellbeing and parental controls.

When you have found your number, challenge yourself to get it down. We only have so much time in our lives, and we are spending too much of it glued to our phones.

Family and Friends is not Always Enough

Lotte Vesterli on January 13, 2022

Helping other people is not easy. The human default approach is to try to help people by pointing out all the good things available to them in their lives. That works for everyday blues and can pick someone up who has just had a hard day at work. However, it is counterproductive to tell people who are feeling anxious or depressed.

That is why friends and family are not always enough when you have serious issues. I work with clients as a trauma therapist myself, but there are also organizations where you can talk anonymously to a trained volunteer for free. If you don’t feel the support from your family and friends is helping you, reach out to someone else. 

You are welcome to book a free intro call with me or send me an e-mail to hear how I can help. 

How to set good goals

Lotte Vesterli on July 26, 2021

Don’t plan on Olympic gold. As we watch the Olympic Games, we are treated to one inspiring story after another of people who set a goal, trained hard, and won their gold medal. The invisible flip side of the coin is that there are lots of people who trained just as hard and didn’t get gold. When the first two finish within 1/100 of a second, it is random chance that determines who ends up with the gold. And some athletes were eliminated from their life’s competition because they were unlucky to contract coronavirus at the worst possible time.

When setting your goals, do not have just one. That will make Olympic silver or similar achievements feel like a failure. In the chapter on goal-setting in my book Life after Bullying, I explain how to set minimum, target, and outrageous goals. Having several variations of your goal gives you the focusing effect of having a goal without beating yourself up if you don’t get exactly what you envisioned.

Read more about my book here: https://www.lifeafterbullying.com/book/

Work Fewer Hours

Lotte Vesterli on May 10, 2021

Are you working too much? When working from home, many people are working more hours than before. The hardest hit are those who already worked a lot.

There are some people who get paid by the hour and need to work a lot of hours to make ends meet. But too many people are simply putting in a lot of hours without actually creating value for anyone. You can always spend extra time on a report, attend another status meeting or put more illustrations into your PowerPoint presentation.

Track how many hours you work this week. Next week, work one hour less. You will find that knowing you have less time will focus your attention. You will get just as much done.

Plan Your Life

Lotte Vesterli on May 7, 2021

Have you planned next week? People who don’t spend some time thinking about their future often experience that all weeks feel the same. That feeling can accumulate to general dissatisfaction with your life.

It’s each to prevent this. Simply write down in your calendar what you intend to achieve next week. Because the world runs on a weekly cycle, making weekly plans is a good way to keep your life moving forward. The end of the week provides you with some spare time and is a good trigger for planning.

People who make specific plans achieve more. Decide today what you will achieve next week.