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Fight Bullying by Giving Credit

Lotte Vesterli on November 8, 2022

Bullies are not high performers. But it might look that way. An article on workplace bullying in the Harvard Business Review explains how star performers are often targets. The purpose of this kind of bullying is for the bully to take credit for the victim’s achievements. In an organization with bad leadership, they sometimes succeed. If that happens, the bully is unfortunately considered a valuable high performer and is even less likely to face consequences.

You can fight this kind of bullying by working to create an appreciative environment. Whenever there is an opportunity, publicly thank your colleagues for their good work. This creates a workplace where others will also praise your work. Once everybody is happy to give credit where it is due, the bully has nothing to steal and will often leave the team.

Borrow Success

Lotte Vesterli on July 25, 2022

All of Denmark celebrated yesterday when Jonas Vingegaard from Denmark won the Tour de France. Soccer fans in England, Sweden, Germany, and France are similarly proud that their women’s teams are in the UEFA Women’s EURO 2022 semi-finals.

Only one Dane was first on Col du Granon, but the rest of us are borrowing his success. That is a technique you can use even when you don’t have a countryman or national team to cheer. When you don’t feel you have any of your own achievements to celebrate, be happy for other people’s success. When a team at work reaches a milestone, completes a project, or wins a large order, you can congratulate them and share in the feeling of success. It will lift your mood and inspire you to work towards your own successes.

Celebrate Success

Lotte Vesterli on April 26, 2021

Here in Denmark, we are celebrating our Oscar for “Best Foreign Movie” today. Well, most of us didn’t really contribute anything, but we can all enjoy Thomas Winterberg’s success with “Another Round.”

You can also celebrate other people’s success. I’m unlikely to win an Oscar, but I can still feel happy for those who do.

When someone around you is successful, examine how you feel. It is common for people who have suffered bullying or other emotional trauma to feel resentment for other people’s success. But being unhappy that someone else got the promotion or won the audition is adding unnecessary pain to your life. If you have that feeling, tell yourself you are happy for their success. If that feels too hard, tell yourself that you pretend to feel happy. it might sound silly, but simply telling your brain to pretend to be happy cancels the negativity so you are at least not adding to your unhappiness.

There are many successful people in the world. Share in their success.

Celebrate Pancake Day

Lotte Vesterli on February 16, 2021

Remember to celebrate. For example, today you can celebrate International Pancake Day. That’s not something just dreamt up by the marketing department in a company that sells pancake mix. It comes from the Christian liturgy, where this day is called Shrove Tuesday and is the last day before the fasting period of Lent. Because you were not allowed fat and sugar during Lent, you had a feast on the day before where you used up all the good stuff, for example by making pancakes. This day is also called Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) for the same reason.

In times like these, it is important to find reasons to celebrate. If you don’t actively act against it, lockdowns and other bad news will affect your mood. But it is completely within your power to lift your spirit by deciding to celebrate something. Like pancake day.

Find Something to Celebrate

Lotte Vesterli on February 1, 2021

Denmark just won the world championship in Handball, defending their title from 2019, and all of my country is celebrating.

Even if your team did not just win a championship, there is always something to celebrate. You just need to look at little harder, because the media tends to focus on awful stories that can get a lot of clicks. Make an effort to find media sources and people that celebrate positive stories. Look at the social media you are using and spend more time on those with a positive vibe. If you come up blank occasionally, worldsbestnews.org is always good for an uplifting story.

Celebrating good news decreases stress and anxiety and has many positive effects on your body.  Find something good every day.

Celebrate Your Wins

Lotte Vesterli on November 2, 2020

With all the negative news around, it is extra important that you celebrate your small wins. If you set out to rake the leaves on your lawn this weekend, and you did it, you have earned the right to a small celebration. If you decided to take a walk every day last week and you did it, you are allowed to celebrate.

It is an important weapon against overwhelm and anxiety to make plans for things that are within your control. When you have followed your plan, you have achieved something. The horrors of the world around you cannot take that achievement from you.

What are you planning to achieve this week?