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The Bullying Victim Who is the Greatest Formula 1 Driver Ever

Today, he’s the best Formula 1 driver in the world. But when Lewis Hamilton was 13, he was just a black boy in a state school in England. He was bullied both at school and at his go-kart club. He fought not only against his competitors on the racetrack but also against depression as he worked his way up through Formula 4, Formula 3, and Formula 2 to become the youngest F1 driver ever—and the first black one.

He fought his way through and openly shares how hard it was. I was also bullied as a child and had to find my own solutions that worked for me. But if you’ve been bullied or are struggling, you don’t have to fight those same battles alone. There are effective tools you can use. I’ve gathered many of them in my book “Life After Bullying,” and I also work directly with individual clients.

Book a free introductory call, and let’s chat about how you can move forward and live the life you want.

What RIM can do, and How You Can Learn It

My client started to cough heavily, gasping for air. He felt an intense lump in his throat blocking the energy flow in his body. I invited him to close his eyes, and we ensured he felt safe. Then I gently led him to move into the blockage. An image appeared of the very first time he experienced not being able to express his feelings. I guided him to speak to his dad, whom he was seeing in front of him. As he voiced all the things he had never said before, the tension in his throat lessened. When he was done, he felt a surge of energy moving through his airway, and he was ready to take the next step forward in his life.

The RIM method leverages body awareness and imagination to detect and dissolve the root cause of an issue. It was developed experimentally, but modern neuroscience has subsequently explained how it works. By directly accessing the feelings stored in the body, RIM can bypass many of the barriers our mind puts up and uncover hidden blockages. Once you have found the blockage, you can begin to heal by generating new images that drain the event of negative emotions. With this new image, you can release the past to be more present and live the rich and fulfilling life you deserve.

I discovered the power of RIM myself for the first time in 2011. I had been severely bullied throughout my childhood and consequently suffered from low self-esteem and had accumulated a heavy load of self-limiting beliefs. The RIM method helped me overcome the effects of the bullying and let me start a new life. Driven by the urge to help others move through their past traumatic experiences, I started training as a RIM practitioner in 2012. I have worked personally with RIM founder Dr. Deborah Sandella, and have since qualified as a RIM Master Facilitator and RIM trainer.

Over the years, I have witnessed many amazing results as my clients work through events from their life and remove the emotional charge. Some of these events might seem to be small, but childhood experiences can settle in the body as a persistent “I’m not good enough” feeling. Others have worked through highly traumatic events like rape and incest. Big or small, all these events have an impact on our emotional operating system. We cannot change the past, and trying to suppress past trauma doesn’t work. But with RIM, we can change the memory of the event so it no longer carries an emotional charge that keeps us down. One of my clients, a rape victim, said, “Now the thought of him no longer makes me cringe. It’s like a picture on the wall. It happened, but I have moved on.”

Your journey learning RIM can start already next month. The last RIM Essentials training course in Europe this year is coming up September 20-24th. I’ll be your trainer and will be happy to share my experience and teach you this powerful tool. You can learn more here: https://www.lottevesterli.com/rim-essential-training/

You are also very welcome to reach out to me to hear more. I’d be happy to jump on a call with you so we can find out if learning RIM is right for you.

When You Need Help the Most, You are Least Able to Ask for it

When you need support the most, you are least able to ask for it. One of the common responses to psychological trauma is social isolation. The victim might blame herself or himself, fear others won’t understand, or not want to burden others.

In my practice, I often see family and friends of the victim reach out to me first. They can see that the victim is suffering and not seeking help. If you know anyone suffering the after-effects of trauma, even from long ago, you are welcome to contact me. I can help you help your loved one reach out and seek help – from me or from someone else.

Bullying Victims Need Help

Our anti-bullying policies have a huge blind spot: The victim. It is bad enough that only 30% of bullies are called out, but it is a disgrace that only 10% of bullying victims receive any help.

Some people can shake off the effects of bullying, but it might take 30 years. That’s how long it took me to heal myself. Many people I see in my practice have also suffered from the after-effects of bullying for decades. We must train at least one person in each school in basic trauma therapy. I do my part by teaching the RIM method, but I find school systems are unwilling to invest in helping bullying victims. If you are a parent, ask your school what they do to help bullying victims. Unless we all demand a change, nothing will happen.

Make the World a Better Place

At the end of next week, the world will be a better place. That’s because another four wonderful coaches and therapists will have learned the powerful RIM technique that I practice and teach. With this tool, they can make even more of a difference for their clients. Happiness spreads like rings in water – when my trainees help their clients improve their lives, others around the clients will be happier. These people affect yet others, who will also become happier.

I encourage you to make a difference for as many people as you can. Everyone can help others every day. RIM practitioners have special training and can help people with serious trauma, and if you want to make the maximum impact in the world, it would be a great idea to learn this method. Next week is my last workshop this year, but there will be others in 2023. If you are curious about what RIM can do, and how you can use it to help others, please contact me.

To Fight Climate Anxiety, Do Something

You can do something to improve the world. It is important for your physical and mental health that you feel you make a difference.

Climate worries are on everybody’s mind here in Europe as we suffer record temperatures and our rivers dry out. A big survey of young people found 45% saying that their feelings about climate change negatively affected their daily life and functioning. Adults with traumatic experiences like bullying or other abuse often have similar feelings.

You can break this feeling and reclaim your life by doing something to fight the thing you worry about. You don’t need to save the world by yourself, but you need to make an effort. You might save energy by driving less, buying vintage clothes instead of new ones, or volunteering in a climate-related charity. When you wrap up your day before going to bed, remind yourself of a situation where you made your own effort to fight climate change.

There is a very big difference between doing nothing and doing something.

Make a donation

You can make a difference. When watching terrible situations like the war in Ukraine, we want to help. However, we are often overwhelmed by the options and end up doing something useless. Charities are drowning in used overcoats and donated toys that there is no way to get to Ukraine.

Unless you have personal contacts in a disaster area, donate money to an organization you already know, like your church or the International Red Cross. Money can be used for whatever is necessary, and the brave people on the ground know if the highest need is for food, medicine, shelter, or transportation.

Making a donation you know will be useful is the best way to fight your anxiety about the state of the world.

Bullying sticks in the body

You might think that bullying from many years ago no longer affects you, but it does. You might feel that you get stressed before your collagues? People with traumatic experiences like bullying in their past have a lower stress capacity, lower self-esteem and a greater risk of anxiety and depression.

I’d like to help you. I have felt like that and it took me many years to recover from the vicious bullying I was subject to in my childhood. I have written the book “Life after Bullying” to share the method and tools I have used, and use today in my client work. Please check it out, or call me for free to hear how I can help you.

You can read about the book here: https://www.lifeafterbullying.com/book/ and you can book a free intro call with me here: https://calendly.com/lottevesterli/free-intro

Help Someone

To help yourself, find someone else to help. Helping others is a deep human urge and has been with us since humans first banded together to help and protect each other. When you are able to help someone, the brain releases dopamine which is a neurotransmitter that makes you feel good.

There are many ways to helping others. If nothing comes to mind for you, simply tell yourself that you are looking for someone to help. That primes your brain to look for opportunities to contribute. Even if the pandemic prevents us from meeting in person, you can answer questions online, or shovel snow for your neighbor, or do other physical tasks that don’t require proximity.

Two kids in the US decided to show their appreciation for their local medical professionals. They went to the parking lot of a local hospital after a recent snowstorm and cleaned the snow from people’s cars. There are lots of ways to help if you look for them.