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Find Another Tribe

Lotte Vesterli on September 2, 2022

There are two kinds of bullying, and you fight them in different ways. Active bullying is when people do something, like yelling or hiding your tools. This is the kind of bullying everyone can see and that you can report to your boss or HR. Passive bullying is when people don’t do something, for example when they invite everybody else to an event. It is hard to report this kind of bullying, but you can still fight back.

The important thing is to have strong relationships outside work. Many people invest most of their time and energy in their jobs, and the people at work become your tribe. We have a deep ancient fear of being excluded from our tribe. In a hunter-gatherer society, exclusion could literally be life-threatening.

If you are the victim of passive bullying at work, join another tribe. It can be your church, an environmental organization, or a sports or crafts club. You do not have to depend on being part of the tribe at work.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Lotte Vesterli on February 14, 2022

Today every flower shop is helping you remember to show your appreciation for your partner. But what about tomorrow? Think of a way to incorporate some closeness and appreciation into your daily routines. 

You Have to Touch

Lotte Vesterli on February 10, 2022

When you have lived with the same partner for a long time, it can feel like something is missing. One of the most important things you can do for your relationship is to make sure you physically touch several time each day. It does not have to be a bear hug or anything sexual. Any simple touch trigger oxytocin in the body, and that strengthens trust and connection between you. Find a way to touch the shoulder, arm, or hand of your partner every day and feel the difference. 

Conversation Lifts the Spirit

Lotte Vesterli on November 20, 2020

This weekend, call someone you haven’t spoken to for a while. With home working and many events and celebrations canceled, we don’t meet as many people as we normally do. We don’t notice the lack of contact from day to day, but it does weigh us down.

You need to make an effort to contact someone, and they will appreciate the opportunity to talk to you. If there is anything they need, and you can help them with, even better.