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Are You Catastrophizing?

Lotte Vesterli on August 12, 2022

Are you Catastrophizing? I didn’t know that word until recently, but I have met clients with this behavior. People who catastrophize imagine a lot of problems, even the most unlikely. For some, this condition places significant limitations on their lives.

The first step in fighting this is to become aware of the mechanism. When you are in a safe place and have time to think, consider which things you have recently decided not to do. Reflect on the reason you said no. If you find that you had a good reason, fine. You are rationally careful. If you no longer think saying no was necessary, then imagine a similar situation in the future. Imagine saying yes. That prepares you and lessens the risk of catastrophizing.

Feel Your Reaction

Lotte Vesterli on July 6, 2022

We’ve just had a public shooting in Denmark. Fortunately, such events are extremely rare here, and it has been many years since the previous one. But that also makes us react stronger to each of them. Some people experience increased stress levels or problems sleeping or concentrating.

If you experience an unexpectedly strong reaction to a traumatic event that you did not witness yourself, take extra care of yourself. You are allowed to feel this. It is normal for people who feel vulnerable in their lives to react more strongly. Untreated trauma from many years ago can also strengthen your reaction to tragic events your hear about in the news or on social media.

Seek help from a professional if you have strong reactions for more than a few days after the event. As a professional trauma therapist, I recommend looking for a professional specializing in trauma.

Reprogram Your Brain

Lotte Vesterli on May 19, 2022

Are you using your brain right? The human brain has two thinking systems: A fast system and a slow system. The slow system is for carefully considering situations, and it uses a lot of energy. The fast system provides quick answers in routine situations and uses much less energy.

Our brains have evolved over thousands of years to automatically select which system to use. In every situation, the fast system gets the first try. In 98% of all cases, the fast system comes up with what it thinks is a good answer, and doesn’t even ask the slow system.

Fortunately, you can use the slow system to re-program the fast system. To change your behavior, think about a situation in advance and tell yourself what you want to happen. Your fast system might automatically say yes when your boss asks you to do one more thing today. Tell yourself that next time, you will say that you will do the task tomorrow. Simply stating your goal tells your fast thinking system that the automatic response is no longer the right answer.

You Have Options

Lotte Vesterli on February 17, 2021

In comparison with my American friends in Texas and elsewhere who are freezing without power, I have it easy. Even though our gas boiler just stopped, we have a fireplace to heat our home and we still have electrical power.

When you are faced with an unexpected problem, take a moment to think about your options. If your normal heating is out, do you have alternative heating sources? Do you have a cottage with a fire-burning stove? Do you have an RV heated with propane? Can you stay with someone who does have heating? Does your community provide emergency shelter for people without heating?

The most important thing you can do to improve your life is to break the chain between an event and an automatic response. You always have options.

Emotional Agility

Lotte Vesterli on February 9, 2021

Do you have emotional agility? If you do, you are able to respond appropriately to the challenges that life throws at you without over-reacting.

The term was coined by Susan David and Christina Congleton in a Harvard Business Review article, and it is very similar to the technique I help my clients use.

The point is to stop the automatic response that occurs when faced with unpleasant or challenging situations. Instead, you learn to become aware of your feelings, accept their existence and then take action. Breaking the stimulus-response chain is the most important thing you can do to take control of your life. Contact me if you want to learn more. Click the button in the lower right corner to schedule a free call.