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Computers Can’t Stop Bullying

Lotte Vesterli on December 6, 2022

Humans understand bullying, but computers don’t. The bullying in online games takes place in real time, so it’s impossible to have human moderators stop it in time. As a second-best thing, gaming companies have maintained lists of banned words. As dictators around the world have found, humans quickly find creative ways around censorship. Unfortunately, that creativity also means that bullies can find ways to hurt others without using any of the words on the banned list.

I can see that advances are being made in Artificial Intelligence so that the computer begins to understand the context of words. That might make them better at detecting bullying. But technology will never save us from bullying.

What does protect against bullying is building up everyone’s self-worth. People who believe they are valuable and important humans don’t bully and are much less affected if they are subjected to bullying behavior.

Why do Anti-Bullying Campaigns Still Look the Same?

Lotte Vesterli on November 15, 2022

A campaign is good, but action is better. This week is Anti-Bullying Week in the UK, and I support everything that fights bullying. However, it seems to me that most campaigns are still doing the same thing we did 20 years ago. Since we’re still running these campaigns, maybe our way of fighting bullying hasn’t been terribly effective?

The best way to fight bullying is by helping everyone build up their self-esteem. A person with healthy self-esteem is not a bully, and is able to shrug it off if someone tries to bully them. We’re not seeing many “Self-esteem weeks,” but I am hopeful they are coming.

Bullying Effects Can Last a Lifetime

Lotte Vesterli on October 26, 2022

We need a higher awareness of how much effect any form of bullying has on kids and adults. The media reports the tragic cases where bullying leads to suicide, but we don’t hear about the traumatization that affects the victim for a lifetime if not dealt with.

We need to alter the way we teach! Besides rules and penalties, we have to teach self-esteem and how to work through emotions throughout the whole school system. High self-esteem makes it easier to deal with the bullying and to report it. And people with high self-esteem are less inclined to start bullying.

Does Therapy Work for You?

Lotte Vesterli on August 30, 2022

Some people are cutting back on therapy to save money. If you have unprocessed traumatic memories, that is one of the worst places to save.

You physical and mental health is the foundation of your life. If you are in therapy, think about the benefits you get from it. After a session, do you feel lighter, more in control, and better able to handle your life? If so, therapy should absolutely be a priority.

Talk Nicely to Yourself

Lotte Vesterli on May 17, 2022

How do you talk to yourself? When our actions lead to bad outcomes, we blame ourselves. That is OK if it leads us to reflect on our behavior and do better next time.

But the language we use when we blame ourselves is sometimes much worse than we would ever use with other people. If a colleague makes a mistake, we don’t call her stupid. But we might call ourselves stupid. Don’t do that. Talk to yourself at least as politely as you talk to others.

Bullying Immunity

Lotte Vesterli on October 29, 2020

In Japan, some school districts are trying to implement Artificial Intelligence (AI) computer systems to help them respond better to bullying. That’s not as stupid as it sounds.

Ideally, teachers would be aware of the bullying and respond immediately. But Japan has hundreds of thousands of bullying incidents reported each year and don’t have the resources to deal with all of them. The idea of the computer system is to help draw attention to the worst cases so that the anti-bullying and victim support effort can be concentrated where it helps most.

This can be one part of the fight against bullying. But the most important part remains to make sure that everybody has the self-love and self-esteem that will make them immune to bullying.