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Seek Diversity

Lotte Vesterli on September 22, 2022

Remember to seek out diversity. In my RIM workshop last week, I had participants from three different countries, and the diversity was very inspiring. People with different backgrounds contribute differently. The more diverse my class is, the more interesting our discussions become, and the more I learn myself.

That’s why enlightened organizations seek diversity: It enables them to make better decisions. Of course, if you are in a leadership position and following me, you already know that. But even if you are not hiring, you can still actively seek out people different from yourself, at work and in your private life. It will inspire and enrich you.

Borrow Success

Lotte Vesterli on July 25, 2022

All of Denmark celebrated yesterday when Jonas Vingegaard from Denmark won the Tour de France. Soccer fans in England, Sweden, Germany, and France are similarly proud that their women’s teams are in the UEFA Women’s EURO 2022 semi-finals.

Only one Dane was first on Col du Granon, but the rest of us are borrowing his success. That is a technique you can use even when you don’t have a countryman or national team to cheer. When you don’t feel you have any of your own achievements to celebrate, be happy for other people’s success. When a team at work reaches a milestone, completes a project, or wins a large order, you can congratulate them and share in the feeling of success. It will lift your mood and inspire you to work towards your own successes.

Set your Mind’s GPS

Lotte Vesterli on June 15, 2022

Did you ever set your GPS wrong? I have, but quickly noticed something wrong with the directions I was given. But if you set your mind’s GPS wrong, it can take you a while to notice.

If you are unhappy about the path of your life, you need to re-program your mind’s GPS. A simple way to do that is by saying affirmations. An affirmation is a compelling sentence that describes how you feel after reaching your goal. One of mine has been “I am so happy and grateful that I now feel relaxed and confident as I speak in front of an audience.” I talk more about affirmations in chapter 7 of my book “Life after Bullying.”

Design an affirmation and say it to yourself every day. You will find that it directs your mind to seek a way to reach the goal your affirmation describes.

Have People Around You

Lotte Vesterli on June 7, 2022

Are you as productive when working from home? Many people feel they are not, and compensate by working even more hours. The numbers show that the time we save by not commuting to work has become extra work hours, not extra free time.

If you feel your productivity is dropping when working from home, spend part of your workday working together with someone else. You do not have to work on the same thing, and you don’t even have to know the other person. If you take your laptop to a local cafe or co-working space where other people are working, you will work harder. It is exactly the same effect as when people exercise harder in the gym than they do at home. Get out of the house for part of your work-from-home days.

The Effort is Within Your Control

Lotte Vesterli on April 6, 2022

You control the effort, not the results. If there is anything in your life you want to change, you can take action today to move towards your desired goal. You might not know exactly what action to take. That is fine – then the action today is to determine what action you need to take tomorrow.

You are not in full control of what direction your life takes. Your environment, other people, and chance all play a part, too.

That is why the focus of your daily review before bed should be on the action you took today, not the results you experienced.

Single Tasking Day

Lotte Vesterli on February 22, 2022

Today 2/22 is “Single Tasking Day.” That’s a made-up holiday, but there is a serious purpose behind it. We pride ourselves our ability to multi-task, but we are not really good at it. Unless one of the tasks is completely automatic – like walking or breathing – we are not actually multi-tasking. We are just switching our attention between several tasks. And every time we switch, we lose a little (or a lot) of time before we are productive on the new task.

Celebrate Single Tasking Day by selecting one task from your long list of half-finished tasks, and work on that one until it is complete. Every incomplete task takes up space in your mind. Notice how you feel lighter and more in control of your life once you can cross that task completely off your list. #SingleTaskingDay

Celebrate Success

Lotte Vesterli on April 26, 2021

Here in Denmark, we are celebrating our Oscar for “Best Foreign Movie” today. Well, most of us didn’t really contribute anything, but we can all enjoy Thomas Winterberg’s success with “Another Round.”

You can also celebrate other people’s success. I’m unlikely to win an Oscar, but I can still feel happy for those who do.

When someone around you is successful, examine how you feel. It is common for people who have suffered bullying or other emotional trauma to feel resentment for other people’s success. But being unhappy that someone else got the promotion or won the audition is adding unnecessary pain to your life. If you have that feeling, tell yourself you are happy for their success. If that feels too hard, tell yourself that you pretend to feel happy. it might sound silly, but simply telling your brain to pretend to be happy cancels the negativity so you are at least not adding to your unhappiness.

There are many successful people in the world. Share in their success.

Cook Something This Christmas

Lotte Vesterli on December 22, 2020

Christmas comes with many food traditions – special cakes and cookies, and things you only make for Christmas dinner. You are probably not going to large family Christmas gatherings this year, so that’s an opportunity to cook or bake something yourself. You don’t need to roast a duck – just find an easy recipe for something that belongs to Christmas.

Cooking and baking is a place where you can safely accumulate successes, and success – any success – is the antidote to anxiety and low self-worth. Make something, learn, and feel good. Merry Christmas!

Keep a Success Journal

Lotte Vesterli on November 12, 2020

To help you make positive changes in your life, it is a good idea to keep a success journal. At least once a day, write down something you succeeded in doing. Maybe you took a walk during your lunch break, or read a chapter in a book you meant to get around to, or cleaned out a drawer in your cabinet.

Occasionally flip through your success journal and notice all the successes you are accumulating. I recommend a physical book – the act of moving a pen over the page reinforces the experiences in a way that tapping on a keyboard doesn’t.